office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
