she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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