We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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