apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
