There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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