last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize