I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize