YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
