You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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