He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
