I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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