she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize