I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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