it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
