my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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