What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Quick, to the slutcave!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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