I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
