Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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