i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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