Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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