Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
