my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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