sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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