i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
