I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
operation harelip BJ is a go
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
