hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
