$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
