Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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