I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize