i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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