Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
