god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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