Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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