What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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