i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
