I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
