I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
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I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
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we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.