Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
