Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period

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  (209): he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period http://tfl.nu/tso5
  Replies (217) Good night (1490) Bad night (28997)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.

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  (202): Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology. http://tfl.nu/sp8t
  Replies (32) Good night (9933) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.

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  (913): Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country. http://tfl.nu/x6hu
  Replies (33) Good night (5846) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?

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  (303): Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead? http://tfl.nu/o3ef
  Replies (18) Good night (7789) Bad night (2036)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.

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  (419): it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower. http://tfl.nu/ei3p
  Replies (4) Good night (2109) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out

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  (765): Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out http://tfl.nu/pydc
  Replies (8) Good night (859) Bad night (2988)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.

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  (772): Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication. http://tfl.nu/cb9g
  Replies (9) Good night (1946) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Apparently you can coat check a keg.

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  (240): Apparently you can coat check a keg. http://tfl.nu/sdmi
  Replies (4) Good night (1949) Bad night (890)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.

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  (774): I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit. http://tfl.nu/t89l
  Replies (9) Good night (4005) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.

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  (518): It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up. http://tfl.nu/6w2h
  Replies (8) Good night (1116) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.

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  (206): Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience. http://tfl.nu/kvcy
  Replies (5) Good night (975) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.

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  (480): I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight. http://tfl.nu/cc82
  Replies (4) Good night (397) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  My breasts were aching with rage.

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  (502): My breasts were aching with rage. http://tfl.nu/o5ig
  Replies (4) Good night (366) Bad night (187)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S

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  (650): Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S http://tfl.nu/kv3h
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?

  (972): View more from Texas

  This is why american education is failing

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  (469): Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover? (972): This is why american education is failing http://tfl.nu/dkmi
  Replies (4) Good night (565) Bad night (248)

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