So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i think i have two assholes
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin