That's when you crack a 10am beer
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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