So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
BRING THE BAGELS
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.