i permit you to call me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize