Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me

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  (323): Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me http://tfl.nu/d8jq
  Replies (9) Good night (4590) Bad night (2195)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Hey its my first time.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think you mean "it's my first time"

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  (859): Hey its my first time. (513): I think you mean "it's my first time" http://tfl.nu/xwgu
  Replies (55) Good night (751) Bad night (1892)
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  (714): View more from California

  I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.

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  (714): I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy. http://tfl.nu/mwni
  Replies (11) Good night (1511) Bad night (3572)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"

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  (734): you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover" http://tfl.nu/l7y3
  Replies (34) Good night (4862) Bad night (2632)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...

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  (817): So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/gzma
  Replies (27) Good night (1185) Bad night (4316)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair

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  (978): vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair http://tfl.nu/uyhj
  Replies (5) Good night (2774) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.

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  (506): I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number. http://tfl.nu/oux0
  Replies (11) Good night (6151) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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  (802): i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please. http://tfl.nu/g6pa
  Replies (5) Good night (4239) Bad night (1619)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.

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  (860): Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor. http://tfl.nu/foqn
  Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (1508)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?

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  (607): So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear? http://tfl.nu/a30u
  Replies (4) Good night (1692) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!

  (1-716): View more from New York

  Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.

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  (716): Guess what I signed up for?!?!?! (1-716): Please tell me you're not selling your eggs. http://tfl.nu/5jqi
  Replies (1) Good night (845) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?

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  (712): There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life? http://tfl.nu/al5z
  Replies (7) Good night (424) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.

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  (773): He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing. http://tfl.nu/5ouo
  Replies (12) Good night (370) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.

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  (661): If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/1zgh
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So there's that.

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  (724): Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself (724): So there's that. http://tfl.nu/rzby
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (366)

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