Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.

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  (323): At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands. http://tfl.nu/8842
  Replies (13) Good night (1419) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.

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  (909): Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave. http://tfl.nu/ztn7
  Replies (22) Good night (1640) Bad night (3382) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"

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  (517): the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed" http://tfl.nu/ho10
  Replies (132) Good night (5021) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night

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  (908): can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night http://tfl.nu/eoys
  Replies (16) Good night (1444) Bad night (3881) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.

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  (402): I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying. http://tfl.nu/o8p1
  Replies (7) Good night (874) Bad night (2740) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.

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  (440): I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues. http://tfl.nu/ej4i
  Replies (5) Good night (2687) Bad night (963)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.

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  (516): i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks. http://tfl.nu/yuy7
  Replies (12) Good night (1566) Bad night (4416) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar

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  (419): I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar http://tfl.nu/rxog
  Replies (10) Good night (880) Bad night (3829) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.

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  (405): I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven. http://tfl.nu/4vzm
  Replies (8) Good night (2814) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.

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  (859): the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything. http://tfl.nu/cxc9
  Replies (9) Good night (1814) Bad night (2023) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.

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  (503): I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over. http://tfl.nu/8vsu
  Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (2517) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.

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  (419): You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you. http://tfl.nu/qq0g
  Replies (15) Good night (2357) Bad night (1108) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too

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  (407): I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too http://tfl.nu/awue
  Replies (0) Good night (838) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING

  (646): View more from New York

  (239): View more from Florida

  Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?

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  (239): COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING (646): (239): Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that? http://tfl.nu/ilq5
  Replies (2) Good night (1150) Bad night (615)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.

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  (802): Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful. http://tfl.nu/lc1g
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (272)

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