I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize