Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
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The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize