So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I party with great urgency now.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
