How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
