Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
