i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
