Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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