i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Randomize
