just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
