You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
