STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize