I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
