I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i believe in u and ur pee
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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