Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
