I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
