Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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