What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she peed on how many people?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
