Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Buhtt sex?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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