I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
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