She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I would ride that face into the sunset
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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