and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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