what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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