so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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