So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
