What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I could make wine with my vomit
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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